Love and Loss Back Home in Ottawa

Steven and I returned home on July 1, Canada Day, from our totally laid back vacation on the beach in Florida via a driving tour in the gorgeous American Southwest. About ten days later, I hopped on a plane for a much anticipated trip home to Canada so I could attend a wedding and reconnect with family and friends. My solo week away felt like a trip down memory lane that started with my getting picked up at the Toronto airport by a dear friend, Sandra, who lived across the street from my childhood home in Ottawa. She'd so generously driven a couple of hours from her home, now north of Toronto, so we could reconnect. The years fell away as we chatted about ourselves and our families since we'd last connected too long ago. 

The following day, one of my dearest friends, Lina, whom I'd known - gasp, gasp - for 60 years since we attended kindergarten together in Ottawa, picked me up from the hotel with her delightful husband, Dan. We'd all been invited by our friend of over fifty years, Christine, to attend the wedding reception of her and her husband' son in Hamilton, located about an hour west of Toronto. 

While Dan watched a big tennis match back at the hotel on TV, Lina and I took the chance to go for a walk and catch up since it'd been a year since we'd seen each other last. A few shots from our stroll:

As Canada is known as a nation of immigrants, it was apropos that there was an Immigration Square in Hamilton. The monument was called Courage, Hope and Dreams.

Never have I had the honor and pleasure of knowing someone with so much elan and sophistication as my cherished friend, Lina. I almost always feel like the proverbial country bumpkin standing by her as she dresses with such flair and elegance, no matter what she has 'thrown' on! Her dear mother, Marion, was the most down to earth lady and had the same 'je ne said quoi' as the French would say.

Across from the park was the striking former Hamilton Railway Station.

What an inventive use for an old toy!

Hamilton's Christ's Church Cathedral was described as an important ecclesiastical cathedral in the Niagara Peninsula and was erected in stages, beginning in 1835, with its form altered as its size and the prominence of its congregation increased. I deliberately put that in  italics as never had we encountered a church referencing its prominent congregation as the rationale for making changes.

Reflected in the window was the CBC logo; my father worked for the national Canadian Broadcasting Corporation for 37 years, starting in December of 1940 as a radio announcer in Halifax, Nova Scotia, when WW II broke out before ultimately relocating to Ottawa and working in the head office. Thanks to my brother, John, for his timely family history update!

On the side of a large building was a mural called Remembrance Reiterated listing the names of the victims of Florida's Pulse Nightclub shooting in 2016. Also included were names of others who lost their lives in similar acts around the world that had never been internationally mourned. They were included to point out the fact that the Orlando massacre received more media attention because it happened in the US and that queer victims (the plaque's term, not mine) from all countries deserve to be remembered and honored.

That evening we all had the time of our lives attending the wedding reception of Christine and Mike's son, Jack, to his husband, Tyler. Though they had married the day before in front of just immediate family, they repeated their vows for everyone at the lovely reception on July 13th. As is often the case with weddings, it was a delightful time reconnecting with people I hadn't seen in decades. 

Christine and her son Jack:

I shall treasure these photos forever as you will soon read why. On the left was Christine, then myself, Mary Pat and Lina. I had also known Mary Pat since we were five but 'only' met Christine in 9th grade! The four of us were best of friends and we and our husbands would always get together whenever Steven and I made it up to Ottawa to see my family.

Mary Pat has got to be the youngest looking 'senior citizen' ever - she reminds me of a female Dick Clark who has never aged! She and her husband, Michael, live about three blocks from where she grew up in Ottawa and on the same street where Christine and Mike  lived before they went all 'Beverly Hillbillies' and bought a big farm way out in the country!

While in Ottawa, my brother, Paul, and his wife, Gloria, opened their home and hearts to me for several days so I could spend time with each of my siblings and friends one on one. The older I get and the more Steven and I travel to faraway places, I have realized the lure of my first home with my Ottawa family and friends becomes even more important. They live right across from a huge open space that has natural, i.e. non-mowed, walking paths that you can lose yourself in if you wanted to for hours. Another section has been set aside for cultivation. It's always a joy to walk out their front door and go for a walk!

When Paul and I went for a walk one day in the open space, I learned that in the 1930s, part of what had once been a farm was sold to Harry Woodburn, who ran the Woodburn Dairy with his brother. They delivered dairy products from their family herd and local farmers. 

A solar system had recently been installed on the roof of the shed that was expected to generate 12,000 kWh of electricity per year.

The goal of the Community Farm, operated by Just Food, was to encourage local organizations to grow fresh, local and organic produce, with assistance by the Aga Khan Foundation Canada, a local food bank and others. One group farming there were some Karen people who used to live high in the mountains of Thailand and Myanmar and were using traditional farming methods handed down from generation to another.

The day Paul and I walked through that area of the open space we saw a few people tending their plots of land.

A photo of my brother, John, and his daughter, Sarah, at a family dinner John and his partner, Mary, hosted on my behalf. Mary was such a dear as she so generously gave me boxes of Smarties galore and also packages of Zachary's favorite cookies to bring home to him. Mary definitely knows what Canadian treats we both love!

My brothers and my nephew, Callum, and niece, Isobel. Missing as always from the family photos were John, always the photographer, and Mary, our hosts!

Another day it was just delightful traipsing through the walking paths with Paul admiring the flowers, some of which were growing waist high!

Whenever I went back to Ottawa through the years, Christine and I always made sure we caught up for some one-on-time, normally over pizza at The Colonnade, a restaurant with so many great memories of dinners there with my parents and siblings through the years. Christine and I had a blast yakking and catching up there on July 16th. Two days later, Christine and Mike had us all out for lunch at their farm in Oxford Mills, about an hour's drive from Ottawa. Christine still commuted into Ottawa for her job with the federal government while Mike, pictured below, tended to their many animals. 

With Michael, Mary Pat's husband, and driver from the Ottawa burbs to the country!

Mary Pat and Lina:

The four of us were all celebrating our 65th birthdays this year; even though mine had been a few weeks earlier, Christine, Lina and Mary Pat caught me completely by surprise by presenting me with an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen! Yum, yum - it was delicious. 

Little did I know when I took this last photo of Mike and Christine at their home the day before I returned to Denver how tragically short life can be.

The next day my eldest brother, Andrew, and I had lunch together and then walked along the Ottawa River before he dropped me off at the airport.

It was an unbelievable shock then when Lina called me on August 4th to let me know Christine had passed away suddenly at home just an hour before from suspected heart issues. I had trouble grasping the tragic news that my dear friend whom I had luckily just seen less than three weeks earlier had died. Steven and I immediately made plans to fly back to Ottawa for her funeral. We were so thankful we were still in town and hadn't left for this trip to Ireland. Mary Pat and Michael invited Lina, Dan and ourselves over for dinner the day after we arrived so we'd have a chance to mourn Christine together before her wake the following evening when we knew masses of people would be present.

I had suggested to my brothers that we all meet at The Colonnade for old times' sake before my brother, Paul, his wife, Gloria, Steven and I went to Christine's wake held at her brother's home. What a shame Andrew didn't come to the family dinner as he lives about an hour outside of Ottawa and he wasn't able to get back in that night.

The following morning was Christine's funeral at the church she attended in Oxford Mills. Lina, Mary Pat and I were honored to each give short eulogies speaking of our long friendships with her and her family. It was an emotional time giving a final tribute and farewell to someone I had known and loved for over 50 years so I was very fortunate to have Steven there at my side lending me support. I was thankful that John and Mary also came to pay their respects and be there for me.

Since we had a few hours to spare one day, my brother Paul kindly offered to drive us downtown so I could play tourist and discover how much the city had changed in our time away. Even though Steven and I'd been back every summer with the children when they were small and then many times since, the city had undergone a big transformation since I had known it when I left almost 40 years ago. A sign by Ottawa's City Hall noted that the city was built on Algonquin native territory and that the Algonquin native people had lived there for millennia and that their culture and presence have nurtured the space. 

Sadly, there'd been a spate of deadly accidents in Ottawa and likewise in our city of Denver when bicycles had been hit by cars. In both cities, some of those bikes have been painted white and have become known as 'ghost bikes' to honor the cyclists killed by drivers.  

Paul in Confederation Park: When I was growing up in Ottawa the park had been rather ho hum with nothing much to it but obviously money had been poured into it and the rest of the downtown core so that it was far livelier and even prettier than I ever remember.

Another nod to the native heritage was this totem pole in the park. 

Just by the National Arts Centre (NAC) was the monument to Oscar Peterson, the Canadian jazz musician who released over 200 recordings and won 8 Grammy Awards.

Before moving to Denver, I had spent many a fun evening at concerts and shows at the NAC so it was fun walking through the lobby once again for old times' sake.

Just across the street from the NAC was what had been the Memorial for the First and Second World Wars when I was growing up. Since then, it also honored those who served and died for Canada fighting in other conflicts and in UN peacekeeping operations. On the right, the castle-looking building was the Chateau Laurier, a pretty swanky hotel where I had my first job in its newstand/gift shop!

George Hunter, the brother of my now Toronto-based friend, Sandra, was instrumental in having the new monument built depicting the Stanley Cup, hockey's biggest award. When it was unveiled, George was photographed with Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau. 

A stroll down Sparks St., the city's pedestrian mall, was always enjoyable for the buskers, restaurants and a lively atmosphere because of its location a block away from the Parliament Buildings.

Not sure what the sign 'meant' but it did bring a smile to my face. Probably 'more Canada' could be interpreted in any way one might want - less participation in overseas armed conflicts, more peace loving, a nod to the country's nationwide health care system, etc. 

Canada's Parliament Buildings where, as a child, I attended many a Changing of the Guards Ceremony on its expansive lawn, saw Queen Elizabeth II and her family any number of times and was there on Canada Day, July 1, 1967 when my homeland unveiled its new flag while celebrating its centennial as a nation.

Between the Parliament Buildings and the Chateau Laurier was part of the Rideau Canal that runs through the city. When it ices over in the wintertime, it becomes the longest skating rink in the world. It's been so long since I skated, it would be like learning all over again if I were to put on a pair of skates again! 

I had never seen the Valiants Memorial before. I read that it paid tribute to the people who served Canada in times of war and the contribution they have made in building the country. These 14 men and women were chosen for their heroism, and because they represented critical moments in Canada’s military history.

In front of Ottawa's old train station and now Conference Center was A Greater Sisterhood, which celebrated the centennial anniversary of the woman's right to vote in Canada. I was proud of my native city that it had evolved into recognizing contributions of so many formerly unheralded groups.

The extension of the canal which in the summertime has always been a perfect place for boats of all sizes. 

Also brand new to me was this heartwarming display of the provincial flags that made my heart go pitter patter as an always proud Canadian! 

I got a kick out of how Canada Post has jazzed up their mail boxes from the formerly plain Jane red ones I recall from my youth!

The Canadian Tribute to Human Rights Monument was the first in the world dedicated to universal human rights and symbolized Canadians’ commitment to live in peace in a society based on these rights.

A look back at Ottawa wouldn't have been complete without a jaunt to the Byward Market located just a stone's throw from the Parliament Buildings. When I was growing up, I would normally go with my Mum shopping at this farmers' market most Saturday mornings where all the produce was locally grown. 

Sadly, nowadays however, it has become a shell of what it once was with far fewer local growers selling their vegetables. I guess a good part of why I always suggest to Steven that we stop at farmers' markets when we travel is because they remind me of happy times from my youth, although I never put 'two and two together' and realized that until now. 

President Obama eating a cookie specially made for him on his visit to the market!

Steven got a hoot out of my posing with Paul at the back of the statue so that it read Awatto!

Across from the statue were the colorfully painted steps that would have taken us back to the Parliament Buildings.

Steven just outside the residence of the Governor General,  nominally the queen's representative to Canada. My mum was from England and I, like her, married someone not of my country or faith. Just as I will always consider myself first and foremost a Canadian, she, I suspect, would have always considered herself an Englishwoman at heart. That was why whenever one of the royals would make an appearance in Ottawa and stay at the Governor General's residence, she would beetle up there in five minutes' flat at any opportunity to wave at the Queen, Prince Philip, Princess Diana, etc. I know I saw all the royals at one time or another as I guess my four brothers must have, too. There were a lot of British contemporaries of my mother in the area of Ottawa where we lived so I grew up with very strong ties to Britain even though I only saw my maternal grandparents a couple of times when we visited them. They never saw my mum's adopted homeland after she emigrated from England in 1946.

A statue of a much younger Queen Elizabeth astride a horse was situated right in front of the Governor General's residence.

Paul kindly brought me to the cemetery where our parents are buried. 

This was my home in Ottawa until after I graduated from the University of Ottawa and moved into my own apartment downtown.

The day before we left Ottawa, Lina came up with the marvelous plan to take Steven, Gloria, and me up to Pinks Lake in the Gatineau Hills north of Ottawa for a hike and then out to lunch. As I told Lina, I couldn't have imagined a nicer treat as both the lake and the Gatineaus were fond memories from my childhood. I used to go swimming at the lake and learned to downhill ski at Camp Fortune in the Gatineaus, just a half hour drive from the heart of Ottawa but located across the Ottawa River in the province of Quebec.

After hiking around the lake, lunch at a century-old inn in Chelsea was the perfect ending to a great time with dear friends.

I shall forever be indebted to Lina for sharing so much of her precious time with me both times I was in Ottawa as she is an incredibly busy and devoted grandmother of soon to be six grandchildren who all live close by. Her daughter, Caroline, even invited me to join Lina and Dan for dinner so I could again meet her husband and their two adorable sons. I truly felt part of the family.

Our last day in Ottawa, Steven and I went for a final walk in the open space across from Paul and Gloria's with Andrew and Paul before Andrew dropped us off at the airport. Living so far away from my four brothers, it was tougher than ever saying goodbye as the fragility of life was made so clear to me after I'd just lost my dear friend. The importance of love and friendship had never meant so much to me as it did those five days in Ottawa as my other friends and I celebrated Christine's life and realized anew how important it was to keep telling those we love how much we treasure them.

Next post: A continuation of our trip to Ireland, a country that was so important to Christine as her father had emigrated from here to Canada. 

Posted on September 14th, 2019, from tiny Inismor, one of the Aran Islands, Ireland.